But They Need To Learn How To Cope In The Real World

Now this is one that really does make me cross. Particularly when it's used in relation to bullying.

Let's define what the real world is.

Now this is interesting! I typed "real world definition" into google, and the first definition that came up was this one:

"the practical world as opposed to the academic world"

The practical world. That would be the one in which we all live our daily lives, go about our business. The one where the shops, banks, doctors, dentists, hospitals, libraries, hair dressers, butchers, post offices, market stalls, opticians, fire, police and ambulance stations etc etc are.

The academic world. That would be school, college, university.

So home educators, by being out in the practical world every day aren't enabling their children to cope *in the real world*.... Can you see my point?

Bullying apparently teaches children how to cope in the real world. Now tell me, if you were going into the office every day and one of your work colleagues was thumping you, what would you do? If you had a lecherous colleague with wandering palm disease, what would you do? If a colleague discriminated against you on the grounds of your colour, religion, gender, size, age, what would you do? I'm hoping that you wouldn't put up with it, that you would take steps to stop it happening, and if it didn't that you would walk away and seek help.

Why shouldn't children have the same options in similar circumstances? How does being beaten, abused, threatened, made to feel worthless help anyone? If you can, please do explain the logic of that one to me, because I've yet to find a single adult who was bullied as a child who wasn't damaged by it, who doesn't still hear the words ringing in their ears from time to time. It's well documented that those who have been bullied often go on to bully. If we all want to live in a world where bullying is seen as an acceptable thing to do, then this kind of attitude must be allowed to persist, but most people find bullying abhorrent, so how does it make any kind of sense to say that children need to experience it to cope with it *in the real world*?

It's another of those crazy cultural memes, and we need to make a concerted effort to stop them spreading.

But What About Friends?

The age old socialisation question!

Are you friends with a group of 30 people born within the same 12 months? No? Thought not.

If adults aren't expected to mix only with people of the same age group why should children? Isn't it more interesting to have a variety of friends from varying age and social groups? Isn't it presumptuous to assume that everyone wants to have lots of friends? Some people are naturally inclined towards having just one or two friends, just as others like having lots. Many children go to school and mix with hundreds of other children everyday, and yet they still have few if any friends, and feel as isolated as if they were on a remote island!

If you live in an area where there are other children, your child, if so inclined, will naturally make friends. If your child attends groups like brownies, scouts etc, they will, if so inclined, make friends. Home Education groups are another option for making friends where the children will have this educational choice in common.

My own children have friends who go to school; home educated friends; younger friends; older friends. They get on well with a wide variety of people which feels like a healthy situation to me. They don't see adults as *the enemy* because they are (mainly) used to adults interacting with them on an equal, respectful footing.

One thing that frustrates me about the socialisation issue is when people who really have no idea come out with statements like "Well I want my child to mix with a wide variety of people from different cultures and socio-economic groups, and they wouldn't get that if they didn't go to school." Hmm, well ok, that might be the case in an inner city school, although having spoken to professional educators who work in these types of settings, about this particular issue, I'm told that whilst they might be in a room together, the different groups tend to stick together and don't generally mix with other groups. That aside though, we live in the Yorkshire Dales. You don't get an awful lot of cultural diversity up here, so school wouldn't provide that opportunity for my children. Home Education on the other hand does, because we go to groups and events where people from all walks of life gather. We mix with people of different religions, people from different countries, people from wide ranging socio-economic groups. So that argument really backfires in our particular case.

Once again it's just a case of thinking outside the box a little bit, and not falling for false cultural memes.